A Quester’s Lament
Me2 created this little poem about the quests and scores in the first three games in the King’s Quest series.
KING’S QUEST’S
“A QUESTER’S LAMENT”
BY ME2
- To save the kingdom was my quest
Restore the treasures three;
Those precious things which bind the land–
As sacred as can be.
Climbing down a well I found
A dragon with the mirror
I threw some water from afar
And never came the nearer.
Next the shield I found, and then
I climbed the stalk like Jack.
I made like David, got the chest
And proudly brought it back.
Triumphant came I to the keep
And won the game, ’tis true
But out of one hundred and fifty-three points
My score was one-fifty-two.
- To save the damsel was my quest
From a sad life in a tower
To do this I had need to fight
A witch of awful power.
Behind a magic door, I knew
There stood my maiden fair
With tender, lovestruck hazel eyes
And flowing locks of hair.
I prowled round the land a while
Rescued many a girl from strife
By use of trident and nightingale
I saved my lady’s life.
Her hand in marriage was my prize
A noble gift, indeed
But out of one hundred and forty-four points
My score was one-forty-three!
- Defeat the wizard was my quest
Unmask my identity
And, through many a trial and test
Save my sister from enmity.
I found the cave of some fearsome men
On a ship I sailed the seas
Turned into an eagle and also a fly
Got a nut from some chestnut trees.
A while later I found a spell
To turn a man into a cat
I waved my wand at the wizard and POOF!
He was gone, and that was that.
To discover your fam’ly’s a wonderful prize,
And I’m royalty, what’s more!
But out of one hundred and thirty-five points
My score was one-thirty-four.
I’m sure that by now you’ve caught on to my drift,
And the following stanza is true:
I have never yet ONCE in a Kings Quest game
Earned the points I’m entitled to.
There is always just SOMETHING I must have left out
A puzzle I managed to skip
If I miss just ONE POINT in one single more game
I swear I am going to flip.
So prepare for some trouble, perhaps make it double
If a new King’s Quest 9 comes to be
And I get 65 out of 66 points–
Were I you, I would steer clear of me!