A Quester’s Lament

Me2 created this little poem about the quests and scores in the first three games in the King’s Quest series.


  1. To save the kingdom was my quest
    Restore the treasures three;
    Those precious things which bind the land–
    As sacred as can be.

Climbing down a well I found
A dragon with the mirror
I threw some water from afar
And never came the nearer.

Next the shield I found, and then
I climbed the stalk like Jack.
I made like David, got the chest
And proudly brought it back.

Triumphant came I to the keep
And won the game, ’tis true
But out of one hundred and fifty-three points
My score was one-fifty-two.

  1. To save the damsel was my quest
    From a sad life in a tower
    To do this I had need to fight
    A witch of awful power.

Behind a magic door, I knew
There stood my maiden fair
With tender, lovestruck hazel eyes
And flowing locks of hair.

I prowled round the land a while
Rescued many a girl from strife
By use of trident and nightingale
I saved my lady’s life.

Her hand in marriage was my prize
A noble gift, indeed
But out of one hundred and forty-four points
My score was one-forty-three!

  1. Defeat the wizard was my quest
    Unmask my identity
    And, through many a trial and test
    Save my sister from enmity.

I found the cave of some fearsome men
On a ship I sailed the seas
Turned into an eagle and also a fly
Got a nut from some chestnut trees.

A while later I found a spell
To turn a man into a cat
I waved my wand at the wizard and POOF!
He was gone, and that was that.

To discover your fam’ly’s a wonderful prize,
And I’m royalty, what’s more!
But out of one hundred and thirty-five points
My score was one-thirty-four.

I’m sure that by now you’ve caught on to my drift,
And the following stanza is true:
I have never yet ONCE in a Kings Quest game
Earned the points I’m entitled to.

There is always just SOMETHING I must have left out
A puzzle I managed to skip
If I miss just ONE POINT in one single more game
I swear I am going to flip.

So prepare for some trouble, perhaps make it double
If a new King’s Quest 9 comes to be
And I get 65 out of 66 points–
Were I you, I would steer clear of me!